Sharing nutrition

I've been blessed with an abundance of breastmilk since I first started nursing Jacob. I've been able to pump 2-3oz easily whenever I pumped, and from my reading I've found that 1-2oz is considered 'normal.'

So, when I started getting engorged from overproduction a couple days ago, it occured to me that I might try looking for the group I'd heard of that let mothers donate their breastmilk directly to other mothers in need.

After some searching, I found the Yahoo! group MilkShare. When I posted that I was in central Oklahoma and looking to donate breastmilk, I got four inquiries right off the bat.

I feel guilty that I can't express enough milk to feed all four of the babies that the mothers are seeking milk for, but I am comforting myself with the knowledge that I CAN help one or two, and that eventually the other mothers will find a donor for their babies.

It has made my nursing experiences the last few days much more intense, looking down at my son and feeling so grateful for the ability to nourish him this way, and to know that I am able to help nourish other babies with the best nutrition on earth for them.

If you're a nursing mother with a little extra milk on hand, I definitely encourage you to consider joining MilkShare and offering to give some of your expressed breastmilk to another mom who may be desperate to provide the best for her baby but be unable to do so on her own.

I'm going to go nurse my son to sleep now. Thank God for being such an effective "milk cow."

Conversations

It is so rewarding seeing Chris blossom as he gets to know his son. I love watching their little conversations with each other, the two of them getting to know one another through squeals and smiles.

Too big, it would seem

Jacob is outgrowing his changing table. Sometimes, when I lay him down, it's an effort to find a place to put his head without getting his feet tangled in the wipes warmer and the handkerchief of corn starch (we powder his bottom with that, whenever we do powder).

Aren't these tables supposed to be good up until toddler-hood? He's only ten weeks old!



I suppose it's a good thing we're doing EC and don't have to change diapers that often... because I don't know how much longer we'll be able to squeeze the baby onto the table!

Getting it done

One nice thing about being a mother, I've discovered, is that even when I feel completely exhausted or utterly lazy, I can get things done because they need to be gotten done. I can't put off doing the diaper laundry simply because I'd rather sit on the couch and read - we have to have something to put on his bottom if we're not planning on being super-vigilant and concentrating 100% on EC.

That's not to say I don't take it easy. I am still enjoying spending lots of uninterrupted time with Jacob, getting to know his unique personality. I am finding that he has a wonderfully horrible combination of both my and Chris' bull-headedness. When he doesn't want something, he fights it with every ounce of strength in his tiny body. And if he DOES want something, he goes for it whole-heartedly.

I am glad we'll be working on doing both Montessori and unschooling with him, because I think in a traditional educational setting, he'd be a nightmare child.

Thinking over what I've written so far, I am vaguely amazed at myself. My goal was never to be a stay-at-home mom. I'd never made a strong and fast goal, other than being published someday, but I had always assumed worked out of the house would be in my future. Chris and I both intend for me to do a little part-time work once Jacob is around five to six months old, but we are both very aware that it will be extremely part-time - probably not even 20hr a week - and that once I get hugely pregnant with our second, I will be leaving work probably for the forseeable future.

With any luck, I will be able to write from home at that point, but I won't expect that outcome. He and I just know that we want the absolute best for our kids, and the absolute best is mommy being at home and accessable to them. And somehow, I'm okay with that future. Interesting how things change, isn't it?

Pure cream

I know Jacob was growing by leaps and bounds, but today I've found out that my breasts apparently produce pure double-Devon clotted cream. My nine-week-old son weighed in at 17lb 3oz and is 25 1/4" long at his two-month Well Baby Check today.

On the one hand, I'm delighted that my son is growing so well and thriving. On the other hand, I'm a little saddened that he isn't staying a "tiny newborn" for very long.

Jacob also got two vaccinations today. So far, he has had a minimal reaction... been a bit fussy, but mostly he's spent the day sleeping, waking to nurse and have a cuddle then drift back to sleep.

I know a lot of "crunchy" parents forgo vaccinations, and I debated it... but I honestly feel the danger of vaccinations is minimal compared to the dangers of him getting a disease and not being able to fight it off. Plus, due to my SLE, if he has a rather nasty infection, I may not be able to care for him as well as I'd like. And even though we're not planning on using public school now, that might change as he gets older, and I'd like him to be protected before spending time with what I lovingly call "tiny germ factories."

I did concede to a more drawn-out vaccination schedule; we're using Dr. Sears' schedule in the hopes that it will minimize the stress on his system, not having so many vaccinations grouped together.

Amazing how many choices we have to make as parents, so many roads we aren't sure are the right road, or even a good road, let alone 'right' or 'wrong.' If this job weren't one of the most rewarding possible, no one would do it.

Getting older, unavoidably

It hit me today that Jacob is over two months old now. It shocked me; I still remember his birth and the aftermath as if it were only a week or two ago. Now I look at him and I see a round, happy, strong little guy who's learning how to roll over and can hold his head up with very little assistance.

I always noticed the passage of time as sort of a dim sidebar. I'd look at myself in the mirror and not see a 13-year-old girl anymore, and be vaguely surprised, as if at 26 I was still expecting lingering baby-fat and a bad perm.

Now, I mark the passage of time in leaps of baby development. He went from a studious, serious, staring baby to one who interacts and coos, smiles and shouts in joy. He's doubled his birthweight in only two months, and has grown so long that it's hard to hold him against my chest without his feet kicking me in the upper thighs.

Time is zooming past now, while at the same time going as slowly as a leaf drifting earthward. It's amazing. From day to day, he gains new abilities... but every hour goes by so slowly as I potty him, change him when I miss a pee, nurse him, hold him while he sleeps, or just talk with him and dodge his waving hands and pistoning legs.

I never knew becoming a mommy would mean so much to me, especially since I've always found other people's children to be annoying and distasteful. Suddenly, I have my own and he captivates me more than the best book. How did this happen? I have become a planet, circling my own tiny sun.

Early-morning productivity

I think my body is going through some weird change right now. We went to sleep around 3am last night, and I woke up at 4:30am to feed Jacob (who was fussing, and had been asleep for nearly three hours because he has sense) and then woke up again at 5:30am, feeling like I wanted to get up and do things.

Now, obviously, the two and a half hours of very interrupted sleep I got was not nearly enough, and yet I still found myself wanting to get up so I could finish working on the wrap I'm making. I've never serged/overstitched an edge before, and my mind kept insisting that 5:30am was a wonderful time to practice - both the husband and the baby were asleep, so no one would need my help or attention! Of course, the idea was patently ridiculous and I forced myself back to sleep.

I must admit, my sewing leaves a lot to be desired. I made two waterproof baby pads to put under Jacob during our daytime naps. I somehow haven't worked up the courage for him to be completely diaper-free during the night, probably because I wouldn't actually get good sleep worrying that he was going to roll off the pad onto the bed and pee all over me. I don't mind sacrificing good sleep during our shared nap, though, because I know how much more comfortable he is without a diaper on. He sleeps longer and much more restfully. Nobody ever said EC would be easy.

I was up again around 9am to potty and feed Jacob, and once I'd gotten him back to sleep, I couldn't seem to relax so I got up and baked.

It seems like I've been doing a lot of baking lately... all pastries and desserts. I've been abusing the Sweet Muffin recipe again, but it takes it so well. It's really more of a base recipe, something I can build on to make a variety of different muffins, but it's such a delicious base that I forgive it.

I ended up making blueberry muffins and chocolate chip muffins. I know they'll be gone in a day or two, so I suppose I should start researching something else to make. I've done chocolate chip cookies and muffins to death lately - maybe it's time to research a good scone? Or be truly brave and try make cinnamon rolls? Everyone is going to be big as houses around here if I don't start baking something a little bit healthier.

I've been breaking out in itchy red welts the last day or so... could I be this hyperactive because I have too much histamine? I mean, if antihistamines make me exhausted, would histamine crank me up? Is that question completely silly?

I have been missing my novels more and more lately. It's been at least three months since I was able to work on one. I suppose I could work while the baby sleeps, but blogging seems much more baby-nap applicable. I don't feel as bad leaving a chunk of thoughts unfinished when they're just rambling, and not an organized story.

Speaking of sleeping babies, Jacob is starting to stir and grumble next to me on the bed; he is probably ready to have a potty and nurse again.