Getting older, unavoidably

It hit me today that Jacob is over two months old now. It shocked me; I still remember his birth and the aftermath as if it were only a week or two ago. Now I look at him and I see a round, happy, strong little guy who's learning how to roll over and can hold his head up with very little assistance.

I always noticed the passage of time as sort of a dim sidebar. I'd look at myself in the mirror and not see a 13-year-old girl anymore, and be vaguely surprised, as if at 26 I was still expecting lingering baby-fat and a bad perm.

Now, I mark the passage of time in leaps of baby development. He went from a studious, serious, staring baby to one who interacts and coos, smiles and shouts in joy. He's doubled his birthweight in only two months, and has grown so long that it's hard to hold him against my chest without his feet kicking me in the upper thighs.

Time is zooming past now, while at the same time going as slowly as a leaf drifting earthward. It's amazing. From day to day, he gains new abilities... but every hour goes by so slowly as I potty him, change him when I miss a pee, nurse him, hold him while he sleeps, or just talk with him and dodge his waving hands and pistoning legs.

I never knew becoming a mommy would mean so much to me, especially since I've always found other people's children to be annoying and distasteful. Suddenly, I have my own and he captivates me more than the best book. How did this happen? I have become a planet, circling my own tiny sun.